Tuesday, June 23, 2009

dogs

A friend texted me last night, long story short, she said she was thru wit niggas and she was never getting married. Me being the caring person that I am told her, "to forget about his weak ass cause he aint shit." First and foremost it is 2009, and women (I.e. You weak bitches that keep fallin for these niggas) have known that men (these men that aint shit, yet somehow keep pulling our dumb asses back) haven't been shit for a long long time now. They have written books, songs, movies, all to let us know that they aint shit! There are no more excuses. The problem is that we keep telling ourselves these lies about the men we deal with. My favorite, (trust, I've def used it before) "I just keep attracting these _________ niggas" (fill in the blank as needed) Well, maybe there is something in that beautiful scent that you give off that just makes these dogs come your way. Dogs hunt for prey, they find it and attack. But they don't strong arm every furry freak they see. Some they sneak up on and indulge, some they stay away from, and some they just jump on the back of and howl.

The point I am making is that we continuously scream to the top of our lungs that men aint shit!How did we come up with this theory? Because we have experienced a man/men that has "proven" this to us. As we have alleviated ourselves from their ways (hopefully) we still continue to carry around this "motto." We carry it to every relationship expecting him to live up to these low expectations we have set for them. We, are essentially setting ourselves up for failure. Internally we believe that when he texts some girl, he's banging her. When he doesn't call back, it's cause he's talking to her. And when he says, "that's just my homegirl" that he's a damn lie! I'm not saying to put all of your trust in a man, but damn we can't keep putting all of our past burdens onto new relationships.

So, the verdict. If you find yourself with men that continue to make you say, "niggas ain't shit." It means that you just may not be shit yourself. This may rub some people the wrong way, they may even say "You are a f*cking Hypocrite" and I say...Um no im not!!!! I believe niggas aint shit to the fullest. But I trust and believe that men are something different. Men can be niggas, but niggas CAN NOT be men. Understand it, live it, and love it. And again all I'm saying is dont let the reason he aint shit be because you aren't shit yourself. Because if we allow them to get away with things...what does that say about us?? THAT WE AINT SHIT!!! UGH

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Behind the Curtain

Sometimes when the curtain closes smiles erase. They vanish with the last piece of fabric touching the end of the stage. It is at that moment the every truth of every emotion shows itself. Truth doesn't need light, only the right moment. Today, my curtain has finally closed. I can finally allow my true emotions to reveal themselves. And it hurts. It hurts to internally be so sad all of the time. I feel like my happiness is just a moment when the tears are too afraid to come out. I cannot even explain why I feel this way. I can only describe remnant's of the reasoning behind them.

You ever hear a song, or see something on tv that puts you back into a place that you never want to visit again? A place where you heart dwells on the past? A place where tears are welcomed by warm cheeks and dirty palms? A place where minds dance in the pits of "shoulda-coulda-wouldas?" It is these triggering events that creep on you without warning. At that moment all you need is a moment. Until that moment is over and you can embrace a happy moment....at least until the curtain closes again...